RELATIONSHIP TIP FOR THE WEEK: THE RULE OF “FIRSTS ”.

I guess you must be wondering what that title is all about, if you are, then relax as I break it down to its most understandable fragment.



Love is a good thing, isn’t it? Being in a relationship with someone Is such an exhilarating feeling, you meet someone out of a flock of many and decide this is the one I will give the chance to break or make me. The memories are sweet, you spend days going up and about doing the sort of things lovers do, and the nights are sweeter, you burn each other up in endless throes of consuming love making.

All these might probably be nothing compared to what your experience is when it comes to love and relationships, but like all things sweet, there is always a bitter side, the same thing comes into play when we take a critical look at how to handle relationships.

After the first 2 weeks of being in a relationship with someone new, that’s when obviously so many silent questions start to pop up in your head, you start asking yourself if this is really the one you want to be with. Love they say, is a bond that should excuse whatever imperfections we see in our better half but hey, let’s be realistic here, why do you think these days the divorce rates is on a high?
There has definitely got to be a misconnection somewhere along the lines of courtship or dating for folks who decided to spend the rest of their lives forever, to suddenly take a u-turn on such a decision.

Well, I have been in quite a number of relationships, some were short and sweet while others were long and tumultuous etc. And at the end of it all, I realized that there was something I always ignored when it comes to deciding whether to go ahead with the relationship or just end it right from the start.And that thing was THE RULE OF FIRSTS.

You know what they say about first impressions being the only that matters when it comes to meeting up with new people? I make bold to let you know that this rule still applies seriously when you get into a relationship with someone new. One bad thing that love does, is that it blinds us to the inadequacies of our partners and covers our eyes to our incompatibilities because somewhere within us we always want to believe that THIS PERSON CAN CHANGE. Sorry to burst your bubble folks, but that’s a big lie. Change is constant, yes but when it comes to human character, then that saying
might not hold much water.

Compatibility is a very serious thing to keep in mind right from the start of a relationship, if right from the start you noticed some traits or attitude exhibited by your partner for the first times, and you made it clear to them that you are not cool with such, yet they still go ahead to display the same thing again, probably at another time, then you have a lot of questioning to do.

Communication is key when it comes to building a solid relationship, but what do you do when you for example have a partner who doesn’t see the need to call you up to update you on their moves? Or how do you handle a partner who finds it hard letting you know when he/she is hanging out with a member of the opposite sex? And when you get to find out, they tell you it’s nothing. I am not saying that for the fact that you got a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you shouldn’t mix up or get friendly with other folks but the confusion starts setting in when it becomes obvious that you deliberately don’t want your partner to have an idea that you are actually hanging out with some other chic or dude when in reality that’s what you are doing. For the simple fact that you feel the need to keep that “little” detail to yourself, it makes it quite questionable. I am sure a lot of you can bring up other scenarios when it comes to Instances such as this, but the bottom-line is this; if this was the way he/she was behaving from the start of the relationship, then my friend, don’t get your hopes all high thinking that probably 1 year down the line they are going to change. As for me, I know folks like that will never change, all they would do is to do a better job at hiding and covering that attitude that you dislike from you until one day, some way you get to see it pop up again and by then it must have been too late.

So what am I saying? What I’m saying is pretty straight forward; from the first date you have with your potential future partner till whenever make sure you check out for the stuffs you aren’t cool about each other and make it known to them instantly that you are not comfortable with how they do this or that, urge them to try ADJUSTING, help them, understand them but if the same thing keeps repeating itself over and over, then you don’t need a soothsayer to tell you that the relationship isn’t going anywhere, because sometimes we know how some relationships would probably end based on how it all started.  GREAT WEEK AHEAD.